Blondes come in many guises, but honey highlights or platinum bleach, it matters not - there are some hardened truisms that have stuck. I've traversed through every hair colour under the sun throughout my adult life, but unfailingly find myself going back to blonde with my tail between my legs. 

Which is surprising because believe me, it's damned hard work to maintain. 

Below are the 25 things only blondes - of any persuasion - know to be true. 

1. People expect you to be 'bubbly'.

2. ....Or ditzy

3. ...Or incredibly vacuous

4. Men like to think you're sweet and mild-mannered. 

4. But when they find out you're not, they interpret this to be Mean Girl bitchy

5. ...Or a steel-hearted ice queen.

6. Which you're OK with, but really, you want your blonde to look timeless and elegant 

7. Because you've spent far too much money looking like this for it to be anything else  

8. No one seems to understand that when you say 'blonde highlights', you mean this

9. ...Not this

9. Because 'blonde' is so subjective, you've left the salon like this (on more than one occassion)

11. No one asks you about your opinions on Guantanamo Bay, despite your Harvard education.  

12. And yet, you're seen as an easy target for leering, bleery-eyed men in bars

13. You once went full platinum to channel 90s Madonna...

15. But in reality, it was probably closer to 90s Courtney 

16. With a full bleach, you know by now that it's wise to dial down the make-up 

17. But never to compromise on accessories or red lipstick

18. In fact all blonde roads lead back to Alabama Whirly, your blonde spirit animal 

19. Well, Alabama or Bardot, naturally

20. Brassiness is the devil, which is why you'll have old bottles of this in your bathroom

21. ...Unless of course, you've decided to wear the brassiness as a thing, in which case, right on

22. But the real problem for blondes, all blondes, is the unending issue of topping up your roots.

23. Which requires more bleach - only, if you use too much, your hair starts snapping off in random places

24. You suspect witchcraft (or weave) for women whom experience no obvious breakage at all

25. The most curious thing of all though, is that it's way more obvious when blondes are drunk