I’ve got no problem with nudity. It’s just that I like to *choose* when I look naked. I normally do this by taking off my clothes.

This summer, though, it’s perfectly possible to be covered head-to-toe and still garner double-takes from people who think you forgot to put a top on.

The first question to ask yourself is: ‘Is this T-shirt the colour of my flesh’. Dark-skinned women can obviously wear peachy beiges and not look nekkid.  If you’re caucasian, you can knock yourself out in browns and dark taupes.

I’m not demanding you banish you-coloured items from your wardrobe; just be aware that you are now dancing with the bitchiest of fashion frenemies, aka ‘nudes’, so you need to plan that look a little harder.

The golden rule is to steer clear of anything skin-tight. I mean, how is skin-tight, skin-colour clothing going to look any different to ‘skin’?

But before you buy that billowy skin-colour blouse, note that this will simply create the unflattering optical illusion that you are both naked and billowy.

So think hard about shape, far beyond ‘not tight’. A nude blazer works (ideally over black, white, hot pink or any totally-not-nude shade) because nobody’s naked body is shaped like a blazer. A nude top with a frilled hem is fine, because nobody’s bum looks like a frilled hem. See where I’m going with this?

Texture also helps: lace, appliqué, beading and ruffles will all help convince onlookers that you are wearing clothes.

Also, think about contrast, pattern and defined borders, like you’re colouring in. I can wear a peachy-nude top thanks to the black leather hem detail. Patterns pairing nudes with darks and brights are also safe ground, as is nude panelling or faux-cut-outs.

But even with shape, texture and pattern on your side, you aren’t out of the nude woods. I might not look naked, but I still look horribly washed-out in most nudes, which I don’t understand, because obviously I wear skin colour all the time (it’s my SKIN; I can’t take it off) and it looks okay as skin.

The fact is that as well as looking a bit naked, nudes are, by nature, a bit ‘meh’; the vanilla of colours. So your other clothes and accessories need to add serious impact and interest, like raspberry ripple or salted caramel. Pair a nude silk vest with a tough leather pencil skirt or tailored orange trousers, and  top with a dramatic necklace. Make-up is key. You need need gloss, you need colour. Nude lips and barely-done eyes on top of a nude top will make you look like a suntanned ghost.

NOW you’re ready to dare to bare. Time to check out our gallery.