You've been seeing each other regularly for years. They've run their fingers through your hair. You've shared your deepest, darkest secrets with them. Indeed, your relationship with your hairdresser can feel a bit like a lover - minus the sex. (In most cases...)

Unlike going for other beauty treatments, a facial or a massage say, a trip to the hairdressers can feel a little more intense. All that staring and chatting builds a strong bond so it's not surprising that many of us can feel guilty if we decide to get our hair cut elsewhere.

'When you first meet each other, it can feel like a honeymoon period' notes salon owner and Pureology ambassador George Northwood. 'Like a lover, your hairdresser has made you feel like a new person - and although you may feel excited by how they've cut your hair at the beginning, further down the line you may feel stuck in a rut and begin to have doubts.'

"You'd be surprised how often clients pour their hearts out to you, when they've only just met you" - Fudge Creative Director John Vial

'You'd be surprised how often clients pour their hearts out to you, when they've only just met you.' observes Fudge Creative Director John Vial. 'If they're seeing the stylist for the first time, there's that emotional detachment that they wouldn't get with a friend or family member. A hairdresser can become a bit like a therapist in that sense. Ironically, once their client gets to know them a bit more, they tend to be a little more guarded.' 

So if you do want to take a break and visit the shiny new salon around the corner, what is the most courteous way to dump your hairdresser? Is a break-up conversation required? Do they really take it personally? And can you ever still be friends? Below are several key points to bear in mind when you're about to switch stylists - from the stylists themselves ...

1. Give us a chance to change before deciding it's over

'Some clients are really awkward – they just don’t know what they want. Then they blame the hairdresser because they haven’t communicated properly,' notes RUSH editorial director, Tina Farey. 'We don’t seem to have the patience anymore to give our hairdressers proper feedback. In other countries I've worked in, there tends to be more loyalty in salons, because people are more straight-up. For example, some of my clients from Greece will speak up and say what they like and don’t like. They can start off being rather formidable and scary but I end up building up a good relationship with them because I know where I stand.'

2. Goodbyes are always nice - we have feelings too

However awkward you might feel, it's a good idea to let your hairdresser know where they stand if you do decide to leave. 'One client of mine said her ex-hairdresser got a mutual friend (another of his clients) to text her, asking where she'd gone.' Northwood said. 'We get letters and texts from clients now and again - you should never burn your bridges.' Sometimes a goodbye can mean a lot if you've been going to a particular stylist for a long time. 'A lady whose hair I did for years was moving away. Before she left, she came in and gave me a big hug,' Farey says, 'You do get tearful when it’s your friend.' But if you're going to send a goodbye text or a letter, be prepared to explain why you're leaving. 'If they’re going to take the effort to send me a text or talk to me about it I would want to know why,' she adds. 

"If you're going to send a goodbye text or a letter, be prepared to explain why you're leaving" - Tina Farey, editorial director at Rush

3. Don't think you can never go back

Sometimes 'playing the field' can make us feel more reassured that our regular hairdresser is truly The One. ' 'It’s healthy to try other people occasionally, otherwise the relationship can get a bit static – like any relationship over time.' says Northwood. 'I get so cross with hairdressers who make their clients feel bad. It's not a contractual agreement.' 

4. The bigger the stylist, the less it matters

'I hate to say this, but the smaller, regional salons are the ones who tend to take it personally when their clients go elsewhere,' according to Vial. 'But if your hairdresser is more established or works for a big salon, they're used to seeing clients come and go. We travel a lot, so we understand if we're not always available some of our clients might look elsewhere.' Northwood agrees, 'When you’re starting out you’re a bit more insecure, but the longer you've been in the business, the more philosophical you tend to be about it all.'

5. Don't feel we need to avoid each other

'I once had a client who felt so bad, she wouldn't walk down the street where her old salon was, just in case her ex-hairdresser saw her,' Northwood told us. But there's no reason to avoid your old hairdresser altogether, as Vial explains. 'Clients are more embarrassed than we are. One rang up the salon and asked when my day off was, so they could see another stylist without me finding out. I understand some seasons you’re into Prada, others you're into Armani, some people just want someone with a different approach. I like to get quite creative with clients' hair, but that's not for everyone.'

"The more you make clients feel like they have freedom of choice - they more loyal they’ll be" - George Northwood, Pureology ambassador

6. Remember, we can still be friends!

If you've built up a good rapport with a stylist and see them more as a friend, that shouldn't end just because you've gone elsewhere. 'If anything, it takes the pressure off the friendship,' notes Vial. 'One celebrity client went elsewhere and ended up meeting her for a chat while her new hairdresser was cutting her hair. It wasn't a big deal.'

7. If we're any good at our job, we won't take it personally

'I say to clients who I’ve become quite friendly with that I don’t want our friendship to sour if they ever see another hairdresser.’ Northwood explains. 'The more you make clients feel like they have freedom of choice - they more loyal they’ll be. Freedom of choice is important, and as a hairdresser, we have a responsibility to make people feel ok with that.'

8. Relax - sometimes we're just as relieved as you are

'Sometimes it’s a relief when someone you’re friends with moves hairstylists,' says Vial. 'Then you can just be friends with them and it feels like the pressure is off.' Some hairdressers have even wished they can break up with certain clients - especially if they're constantly complaining. 'If it feels like we're hitting a brick wall, I'll be open with them and suggest that they might want to try elsewhere,' Northwood says. It can sometimes feel like they need a change. 'If you're fully booked with the same clients week in, week out, sometimes it's quite nice if a loyal one drops off occasionally. You can then free up space to fit new people in,' Vial remarks. 

"Sometimes it’s a relief when someone you’re friends with moves hairstylists. Then you can just be friends with them and the pressure is off" - John Vial, Fudge creative director

9. Be honest about why you're leaving - but be polite ...

'If you have the guts to be honest then go for it,' advises Northwood. 'For example, a client might love the way I cut their hair but don’t like the environment of the salon. As long as it's not rude or derogatory then it's fine – no one likes to hear you don’t cut my hair how I like it.' 

10. ... or if all else fails, tell a white lie

If you really feel awkward about having The Conversation with your hairdresser, you don't have to abruptly sever all ties altogether. You never know when you might decide in the future that they were the one for you all along.

'Never burn your bridges with a hairdresser,' opines Northwood. 'If you feel awkward about saying you want to try something new, then how about ‘my friend just qualified so she's forcing me to have my hair cut with her!'