So, do you #loveselfie? This is the hashtag for Amanda De Cadenet’s current ‘self love’ campaign, the idea being that for the month of February women following will Tweet or Instagram themselves and their self-love practise as a sort of global girl-power, self-esteem boosting exercise. As I write there are around 1500 posts tagged #loveselfie – mostly by women who are obviously pretty well versed in the art of the carefully filtered, chin-tilted-down, look-at-me pout. And, mostly by women under the age of 30. Because it’s all very well for Amanda, a Hollywood-smooth, 41 years of age who basically grew up on camera learning all about her good side and about how pushing selfies can be a tool for women’s empowerment. But let’s just say the dawn of selfie culture hasn’t exactly been my favourite development of the social media age.

When Instagram launched in October 2010 I was 34.5 years old. Unfortunately for me, in February 2011 researchers for Japanese skincare brand SK-II released a study claiming that 35.09 was the precise age women began to age more quickly, meaning the rapid onset of wrinkles, sagging skin and a face that would apparently now refuse to snap back from lack of sleep or one too many cocktails. By my reckoning, this gave me a scant two months to enjoy what I’d always considered to be a half-decent genetic imprint before it all started to slide – quite literally – downhill. Worse, this was all likely to be documented on the world’s favourite new social media channel.

When the Oxford English Dictionary declared “selfie” the word of the year for 2013, it was sign of exactly how self-image obsessed our society has become. And yes, the fact this has coincided with the contours of my face shifting into my next life stage, has only served to make me hyper-aware of the ageing process. Anybody who’s spent a lost weekend at Glastonbury knows how beautiful you feel when somebody takes away all the mirrors. But the advent of selfie culture means now there’s no escape from the kind of scrutiny that fairy tale evil stepmothers are made of.

Not that the social commentators are going to let this one lie, even if most of the selfie-bashing is focused on the effect it has on younger women. ‘It is an act as modern as it is narcissistic. But it is also, some think, a worrying trend that could leave young girls in particular with low self-esteem,’ wrote Harry Wallop in the Telegraph last year. On Jezebel, Erin Gloria Ryan was less polite about it; ‘Selfies aren’t empowering; they’re a high-tech reflection of the f**ked up way society teaches women that their most important quality is their physical attractiveness.’

But what does it mean for a Gen X’er like me, teetering on the periphery of middle age? ‘50 is the new 30!’ scream the headlines – but only if you go the botox and fillers route. But is wanting to remain part of the social media conversation enough reason to open that Pandora’s box? Psychologist Vivian Diller, author of Face It: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change, thinks the ‘youth driven behavior’ that fuels social media, ‘can make ageing women feel as if they’re left out, and can't compete. So much focus on one's appearance can leave an ageing woman feeling as if nothing else matters as much.’ And while intellectually I know this isn’t the case, I am still a human, made of skin and bone and there’s no getting away from the fact it’s in our nature to judge and be judged on how we look.

Having recently launched my own online magazine, I’ve also become acutely aware of how this has come to impact professional life, where cultivating an active – often exposing - presence online has become an essential part of self-branding. Hugely successful blogger Gala Darling uses her site to peddle ‘radical self-love’ (to bolster the self-esteem of the selfie-generation?), and while her Instagram feed is probably 70 percent artfully orchestrated selfie, it could equally apply to the photo you chose for your Linkedin profile.

How you look – which all too often means how young you look – can have a huge impact on your employability. As my friend Katie, a gorgeous photographer in her early thirties, put it over lunch the other day; ‘I feel like I want Botox to make me look more successful than I actually am’ - i.e. like she was scoring the kind of jobs she is now five years ago. Because people are as likely to be looking at pictures of her when they’re considering her for a job, as the pictures she takes. But I also love the fact she had to pull a producer friend aside recently; ‘to tell her her Instagram feed was too sexy. I mean, you’re trying to raise $3 million for a movie, and all people see is that?’

It’s no wonder a whole industry in ‘selfie surgery’ has sprung up, in the form of apps designed to enhance the images you post online. And as with Botox, users of programmes like Perfect365, FaceTune and ModiFace are less than willing to admit they’ve been doctoring their snaps. Just 50,000 Instagram photos have been tagged #Perfect365 – but the app has been downloaded 17 million times since it launched two years ago.

Researching this piece I’ve become slightly obsessed with FaceTune – and it seems like I’m not alone. The app, which allows users to smooth away lines while enhancing their favourite features, has topped Apple’s rankings as the most popular paid app in 69 countries. And, in fact, who needs Botox when you can fake it online? We all know that IRL – as my super spiritual friend Ellie puts it – ‘the 3D version of a person is always so much more attractive and interesting…’

But while I couldn’t agree more. selfie culture isn’t going anywhere, which means we’re all being asked to face up to the ageing process under more scrutiny than ever before. In my case, whatever I might think about how I look, this has actually led to some deeply compassionate feelings towards myself, especially when I take the time to reflect on all the places my face has taken me so far and forgive my flesh for daring to carry the imprint of my experiences. Which I guess is exactly the kind of message Amanda De Cadenet is hoping to spread with her #loveselfie campaign. With the help of my new app, and some very expensive foundation, I might just post something yet.

Ruby Warrington is the founder of www.thenuminous.net