Bikinis are a bit of a fashion black hole. The fluxes in two-piece fashion are practically imperceptible. In fact, the only thing of note we can remember happening in the past five years is cutaway swimsuits.

Our bikini-buying tendencies are frozen in arrested development. Enter shop, head for shape we decided made us look least minging when we were 15. Which consists of top we ascertained made our boobs look the bounciest and bottoms that made our bottoms look the smallest. In the colour we believed made our ghostly tans do something. Proceed to till.

We’re not alone, as demonstrated by our gallery. Jennifer Aniston is stranded in a strawberry field.  Olivia Palermo throws money at the problem and emerges with bling, strapless designer. Cameron Diaz is a slave to the sporty, plain triangle. Gwyneth’s fifteen-year self obviously decided string tie bottoms were a fabulous idea. While Kate Moss’s teenage halter-ego is affronted by all matchy-matchy bikinis and sticks it to the man with mismatchers.

But a special salute to Diane Kruger, nevertheless, who regularly applies her fashion brain to swimwear, with unexpected colours such as dove grey and the odd feline snarl print. See our gallery and be inspired.