Far be it from me to call out anyone for looking more glamorous than I could ever hope to in my entire life. Far be it from me, in fact, to suggest that some of the primping and preening that goes into not only a red carpet look but now also a selfie taken in the comfort of your home is bordering on the tedious and excessively vain.

Instead, I will just say this: that I love Kristen Stewart for not bothering with any of it. And guess what, she’s been announced as the face of Chanel’s next Metiers d’Art campaign. Which just goes to show, not brushing your hair can get you everywhere.

Stewart has single-handedly made my inner teenager cool again. Not for her a fishtail gown or boa constrictor body-con. Rather, she works from a slate of comfortable, easy, even slightly grotty pieces that I remember from my adolescent days of grunting instead of talking, and feeling like I was about to spontaneously combust with embarrassment every time someone spoke to me.

So thank you, Kristen, for rehabilitating all of the following and making every normal woman's life just a little bit easier...

The zippy cardigan and outdoorsy rucksack

When Kristen does 'boyfriend dressing', she doesn't do the sexy 'man's shirt over a naked body' thing, she actually wears the vile stuff your boyfriend probably owns. Like a zippy cardigan. I miss wearing zippy cardigans about three times a day. They're warm and cosy, and they're really practical. My best male friend has one with a knitted reindeer motif; I once 'forgot my coat' so I could borrow it. Alas, they're also incredibly unflattering and can make you look one of those weird people you sometimes see in clubs on their own. But Kristen doesn't care. She's teamed hers with the sort of rucksack you'd use to go orienteering. My heart sings at this look.

The pants showing above your waistband

Whoa there, Mel B! This was a styling tip I really took to from about 1998 to 2002. I thought it was incredibly sexy. On reflection, I tried far too hard with this look, carefully measuring the amount of waistband visible was equal around my perimeter waistline. Kristen's nailed it though – it's as if she doesn't even know the pants are showing. Bonus points for looking great in a hideous carrot-leg jean (there are no previous winners of this award) and for an ill-fitting baggy slogan tee, yet another staple of my youth.

Tying your jumper around your waist

I can't even begin to express my glee upon seeing Kristen Stewart rocking what I like to call 'hands-free', a jumper tied around the waist – at last night's Chanel show in Dallas, no less. I'd be looping my knitwear round there all the time if I thought it was acceptable and not just something that a.) American tourists or b.) those weird people in clubs do when they take their zippy cardigans off. Thankfully, K-Stew has proved that it is. NB. *not* around your shoulders. That's still taboo.

Dirty Cons

Oh GO Kristen for daring to besmirch the sanctity of the red carpet with your grotty old Converse. You're like a grungey Agamemnon. Does this mean I can wear mine to meetings now? I still haven't got round to washing them since Carnival.

General anti-red carpet demeanour

Remember when an adult would ask you to smile for a photo and you'd become mortified and try to brush your greasy fringe the whole way over your face? It's that spirit that Stewart is channelling in this, and almost every red carpet appearance. She doesn't do a gown, she doesn't do glib and she doesn't do gushing. And when people tell her to smile, she doesn't. I love her.

She looks like she feels rough sometimes

That isn't a diss. Rather, it's the highest praise you can offer a celebrity in this age of airbrushing, PR and photoshopping a fake head onto a fake body. Don't even get me started on that packet of what look like really growly fags that leave your mouth like an ashtray the next morning. It's almost too much.

The dirty hair cover-up

Because why else would you wear a baseball cap this awful? Thank you Kristen Stewart for more than you can ever know.