Try as you might to drop Net-a-Porter links all over your loved ones' Facebooks in the run-up to Christmas, chances are, you'll get the odd gift you just don't want. It's not that you don't appreciate the sentiment with which is was given, it's just that a ~hilarious tuxedo onesie actually looks a bit bleak in the cold light of January. 

Let us help you through this difficult time with a guide to the twelve stages of receiving unwanted gifts, from graciously smiling through receiving it, to dealing with difficult shop assistants when you come to cash it in. 

You've been eyeing up that package under the tree for so long that opening it is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to you. 

But wait, it's not a Chanel 2.55 or the fancy fragrance you dreamed of? The corners of your mouth downturn faster than a sinking ship. 

You're being a grown-up and holding it together though - you don't want to hurt the person that generously gave you the gift. 

Especially as you deviously realise you'll just take it back and cash it in. 

You waste no time in going to return it, braving the post-christmas sale crowds like a true shopping pro. 

Too late, the customer services queue is already about five miles long full of other people in your sorry shoes. All you can do is wait. 

Finally you reach the front, but obviously you don't have a receipt so you sidle up to the assistant with all the optimistic charm you can muster. 

When there's mention of terms and conditions and filling in forms, you start to lose patience, but hold it together like a total shopping saint. 

Talk of gift vouchers gets thrown around and you finally snap. 

Persistence pays off and you are allowed to return your gift for cash. You feel like a total boss. 

It's like Christmas has come all over again when you contemplate how to drop your newly acquired dollar. 

Only the tiniest amount of guilt prevails when you're asked by the gift-giver how that Christmas onesie worked out for you and why you've not Instagrammed a funny picture of yourself wearing it.