We need to learn how to love ourselves, we must be kinder to ourselves and feel S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Really? Is this the answer to the sense of spiralling panic that consumes so many of us? In a society hell-bent on looking for shortcuts and wanting to ‘have it all’ with the minimum amount of effort (accompanied by the maximum amount of fanfare), self-love is getting us nowhere fast. It is self-defeating and leaves us feeling thoroughly depressed about our lot.

The point is we start to feel better when we forget about ourselves completely and get busy doing stuff, when we finally surrender to the gritty truth that life can be unbelievably hard – and that it is supposed to be that way. Hard is the new black. So instead of always looking for ways to avoid these difficulties let’s start facing them head on, because it is in the very act of engaging positively with life’s struggles that our true selves and, ultimately, a sense of peace will be revealed.

And you know that woman at work who you envy? The one you think isn’t struggling? She’s sophisticated, thoughtful, clever and looks like she has it all totally together. Well, she may in fact be knee-deep in a pile of sh*t so high she is almost drowning and only holding it together by the thinnest of threads. The truth is, you will never really know. Green-grass thinking is an illusion, and an extremely damaging one at that. So, quit wasting time envying her lot, and start making friends with the fact that everyone’s life – no matter what it looks like from the outside – has its challenges.

Let’s get cracking and do something to make a difference in our own lives and the lives of those we care about – and let’s stop looking in the mirror while we are at it. Why? Because gawping at our flawed faces makes us miserable and more self-obsessed than ever. And when we stop doing it and get busy doing stuff instead, something like a miracle occurs. When you return to the mirror after a long (and incredibly productive) absence, you will be pleasantly surprised. You are not as flawed as you remember! Au contraire, you are radiant and beautiful, because what you are seeing is not only your physical reflection, but all the sh*t you just achieved, beaming right back atcha.

The Grit Doctor says:

We need to get over ourselves and get on with it.