There are some sporting events that you are supposed to watch. You know, like the Olympics or international matches your dad tells you are ‘momentous’. My friend and I were doing this recently – sitting together unconcerned about the outcome of some Very Important, Very Momentous match – and we used that two-hour window to plan our weddings.

Neither of us are engaged, you understand. We’re not even nearly engaged. Or sort of engaged but waiting on official confirmation. Or just about to get engaged. Or as good as engaged. We are not engaged at all. Not even close. But I don’t think we’re bunny-boiling nutters. I think we’re totally normal. 

"I am subconsciously growing my hair so it is 'bridal length' in one and a half years. I already know who I want to make my wedding dress."

Because most women, if they are honest, will admit that they have thought of various elements of their hypothetical wedding day. The dress especially. But the hair, flowers, menu, first song, invitations, bridesmaids dresses, cake and the groom too.      

The Daily Mail shared the results of a survey on the topic earlier this year and shamed all of us premature wedding planners as thoroughly as any celebrity who had neglected her bikini body or social worker who had attempted to do her job properly. ‘Bridezilla Britain: Six in ten SINGLE women have already planned their wedding’ the paper screamed in its headline, seeking to humiliate all of those unmarried women who might possibly have perused the Browns Bride website at some point or another. But round here at the Never Underdressed office we will not be humiliated by the Bridezilla tag and indeed it seems that on the basis of a quick straw poll the figure is more like eight in 10. 

Beauty director Joanna McGarry, who is in a serious relationship but not engaged, says, ‘I am subconsciously growing my hair so it is “bridal length” in one and a half years. I already know who I want to make my wedding dress (a designer friend) and kind of how I want it to look… I occasionally think about whether I’d have red lips/nails and I know I will have a veil.’ 

To anyone who knows Joanna, this will not be a surprise. She is incredibly stylish and absolutely obsessive about the little details of her outfits and beauty regimes. Of course her mind has wandered to a day when you are encouraged to spend thousands on a single outfit… Of course she has thought about a day when you are encouraged to shrug off your London fashion uniform of normcore-meets-Céline and embrace tulle and hoops and lace and all that fun stuff…

"The ‘wedding dress that isn’t a wedding dress’ is a common theme among wannabe brides, as though we somehow think it’s more acceptable to try on a vintage gown."

And actually, truth be told, many of us in the office have done more than just ‘subconsciously’ think about our dream wedding dresses; some of us have tried them on. Beauty writer Bella Binns admits that although she and her boyfriend have no imminent plans to marry, she has thought about the flowers and the table settings, and yes she has tried on a wedding dress. ‘I’ve been along on several dress shopping trips with excitable brides to be and, so far, managed to live vicariously through their encounters with swathes of ivory taffeta. Until recently that is,’ she says. ‘I was in a local vintage store which has, among the rails of 1970s printed kaftans and 1960s duster coats, a nice line in vintage bridal and occasion wear. I mean, it wasn’t even technically a “wedding dress”…’ 

(The ‘wedding dress that isn’t a wedding dress’ is a common theme among wannabe brides, as though we somehow think it’s more acceptable to try on a vintage gown or an above-the-knee wedding dress than a full-on Vera Wang number.)  

Bella says that stepping into the dress – an Audrey Hepburn-style gown with a high neck and diamanté-encrusted collar – was ‘a total rush’ but she reluctantly left it in the shop. ‘In wedding dress terms it was affordable, under £500, and it fitted like a glove but in the end I managed to see straight and hand it back to the shop owner. Not before snapping a wedding dress selfie that to this day, I have never, ever shown my partner. Just in case.’

Fashion features director Harriet Walker (who has been known to try on wedding dresses at Alexander McQueen sample sales) knows a woman who has gone so far as to actually buy a dress. ‘She saw it in a vintage shop and it wasn’t too expensive and just has it hidden in her house which she shares with her boyfriend (still not her fiancé),’ she says. 

Although some would view this type of forward planning as irrational, others see it as sensible. Charlie Byrne, fashion writer at The Times, is engaged but says she began the process of planning for the wedding before the proposal. 

‘Before my fiancé proposed I had definitely started earmarking bits and pieces, even if I didn't go as far as buying a dress or booking a venue. Working in fashion, we have a subscription to Brides magazines that is delivered to my desk, and I would regularly scrapbook things that caught my eye. My boyfriend was well aware – if I ever needed cheering up he would pop down to the newsagent and buy me a bridal magazine himself,’ she says. ‘When he did ask, I had a full book of ideas. To us, it didn't seem crazy – I scrapbook all sorts, so it was just another creative thing that I enjoyed doing in front of the TV.’ 

"It's possible that if you spend years fantasising about the wedding day, you can end up feeling very disappointed once it's out of the way."

‘My personal opinion [on pre-proposal wedding planning] is that it's crazy and suggests that someone is more preoccupied with the wedding (which is just a party, after all) than with building a life with someone,’ says one single friend, who is thoroughly opposed to pre-proposal scrapbooks and dress-trying-on sessions. ‘I think it's also possible that if you spend years fantasising about the wedding day, you can end up feeling very disappointed once it's out of the way and you're in the mundane business of everyday marriage.’ 

And while I can take on board her point, I think that the business of premature wedding planning and building a successful relationship have very little to do with each other. I don’t see how browsing the ivory and white evening gowns on The Outnet in anticipation of a chic city wedding impairs my ability to compromise. I don’t think that deciding that I would quite like to be a ‘Quirky Bride’ effects how kind or how committed I would be if I ever got married. Pre-proposal wedding planning, and indeed completely-single wedding planning, might be a little bit silly but it’s ultimately something that, if we’re being honest, most of us say ‘I do’ to. 

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