If you’re anything like us, your weekends are spent worshipping in cathedrals, being inspired by the votive artwork of the best artisans of our time, absorbing the impassioned preaching of your favourite commentators, flicking through the bible, and finally donating extravagant amounts of money to the cause.

The cause? Fashion. Your cathedral of choice? Maybe Westfield, or Selfridges. And your spiritual leader? Karl the First, of course.

Because nowadays fashion is a religion, or so German journalist Martina Neuen would have us believe.  The Cologne-based television journalist spent 14 months trailing the Chanel designer, and has reduced her research to four hours of footage and a conclusion that we the fashion consumers are the devoted religious pilgrims of the 21^st century.

The documentary not only features interviews with Karl’s primary apostles including Claudia Schiffer, Sarah Jessica Parker and Diane Kruger, but it also includes more brilliant Karlisms than you can shake a sceptre at, including this:

‘The only pope I thought was chic was Pius XII. Even though he may not be remembered for his popularity, I thought he was elegant. And Pope John XXIII was the most charismatic; you can keep all the others.’

The documentary, called Mode als Religion (Fashion as a Religion) airs on German television on September 7, and we are praying for someone who speaks in tongues to translate it for us very quickly.