I know, I know: we've only just finished telling what to put on your head for Asot, and now we're telling you what to put on it for Glastonbury?

Well, yes, actually. This is a whole different kettle of headgear.

Thanks to recent excursions, festival headgear will go down in modern history as some of the most contrived awfulness ever to have been seen on the planet, so don't get ahead of yourself and rush out to buy yourself a 'tribal headpiece' (and don't use that word, either). Personally I've always enjoyed the dramatic irony that the girl in the nymph-like floral headpiece is much more historically accurate than she realises, given that ordinary people in the years BC probably also strolled round in the sun, knee-deep in mud and covered in other people's sh*t. But that's just me.

Jezebel, a reliable source of cynicism, has sanctioned headgear. They make the point that this isn't necessarily for festivals, but we're just saying it could be. So click the gallery for the best examples of festival headgear (this is the wishlist) and I'll be straight with you: a floral garland isn't going to cut it.